Monday, 27 November 2017

There Was No Bundt Cake Either

Husband's work friend's life partner goes for ultrasound.


Doctor writes gender of twins on papers and puts in envelope.

Seals it.

Husband tells me, gender(s) will be revealed at Spare-No-Expense His &Hers Team Pink or Team Blue Baby Shower in November.

OMG. I hope we get invited to that. It will be like reality television. But, like, real.

I hope they have a bundt cake.

(Be careful what you wish for.)

Shower day fraught with competing events that land us in elegant reception hall around 3pm, having missed the first buffet at 1:30pm but arriving just in time for sit down dinner. Pasta, green salad, steak, veal, wine, champagne, flower centrepieces, photo booth, fantastic DJ.

Gender has not yet been revealed.

In between courses people play games like how quickly can you hang laundry on the line while carrying two babies and a cel phone.

No indication yet as to gender of babies.

Pink and blue balloons, pink and blue tablecloths, flowers, gifts and stunning display of all the communal gifts purchased with communal cash that would not look out of place in a royal nursery, except that the royal nursery probably already knows what gender babies are and is governing itself accordingly.

Open bar.

Espresso bar.

Plates of cake passed around with fresh berries.

Three hours have elapsed.

Candy bar now open. Doughnuts, jellies, marshmallows, cupcakes, cake pops, sprinkled pretzels and baby themed cookies.

All in pink and blue.

We have been here for close to four hours. Husband passed restless three espressos ago.

We have to stay. I plead. We have invested so much into this. We need to know whether these are boys or girls or both.

Two giant black balloons at the Head Table contain what I first thought were the slips of paper but then Husband pointed out deduced that must mini balloons inside, colour coded for Team Pink or Team Blue.

DJ starts talking.

This is it.

We are going to find out now.

I clasp Husband's hand just as DJ offers his announcement:

Sweet table now open. 
Spaghetti, sausage, pizza, giant bowls of fruit, more cake, pastries, mousse (pink and blue), macarons (pink and blue).

Listen. Husband says. The sun has set. It's almost 7pm. I can not stay in this room for one more second. We will have to find out another time whether work friend (that you have met barely twice) and his life partner (to whom you have just been introduced) are having boys girls or both.  You will need to get over this.

Complaint Lessons Learned
  1. The idea that pink is for girls and blue is for boys may be outdated, offensive and politically incorrect, but it really makes for a beautiful party. 
  2. Going to a gender reveal shower and leaving before the gender is revealed is an unsatisfying experience no matter how many pink and blue cake pops they throw at you. 
  3. Letting people choose their own genders may not be a bad idea especially if it keeps baby showers to a two hour limit.
  4. If either of these babies decides to change their genders and reveal them at a shower when they grow up I hope the food is half as good.