Saturday, 1 November 2014

Things That Never Happen At Tim Horton's

Nice thing about being lazy is knowing a lot of short cuts.

For example.

When ordering latte, hand barista two packs of sugar so that you don't have to rip the packets and stir yourself.

Ordered coffee.

Forgot to hand over sugar.

(Not nice thing about being lazy is sometimes you forget stuff).

Apparently every store has a little table with milk and various sweeteners just for situations like this.

Walk over to table.

Some overly made-up investment banker Another patron is quite spread out.

Purse, briefcase, laptop bag, iPad, cell phone, make up case all on top of milk and sugar table.  Will she put sweetener in her coffee or apply two more coats of blackberry extra shiny lip gloss?

Tapping my feet and looking at my watch patiently wait my turn and wonder why a corporate raider would need a full make up case.

Inch my way over and casually slide purse and briefcase over to make room for my to-go cup.

That sounds like a bark.

Oh my g-d yes it is.

The make up case is not a make up case.

The make up case is now licking a bit of spilled soy off the table.

Unanswered Questions

1. If you are not in fact carrying 1.4kg of make up around with you, how do you keep your skin looking so dewy all day?

2. Handing the barista two sugars is now not only about being lazy but also about avoiding skin contact with dog spew.

3. How does Fido like the new Pumpkin Spice Latte?

PS Remember when I offered to write up your story in exchange for a donation to the Breast Cancer Walk? Refresh your memory here.  This is one of those stories.  Thank you so much JS for your generous donation.