Saturday, 19 October 2013

Should Have Just Stuck to Tim Horton's

When I am being fleeced, I would at least like to know who is pocketing the change.

Last time I went to this Conference I spoke about Delivering Bad News and got pink sequinned sneakers.

This time was Ethics in Long Term Care and a book of $5 vouchers.

Vouchers? How boring is that.

Wait, it gets worse.

Vouchers were used to pay for breakfast, coffee, lunch, coffee and coffee.

An orange (they ran out of bananas) was $2.80.

I can only pay with a $5 voucher.

I give the cashier my voucher and she keeps it.

I am sorry, we can't give any change.

But I just paid for a $2.80 banana with a $5 voucher.

That's correct.

Who is getting the $2.10?

Is it the conference?

Is it the caterer?

Is it a forced tip for the cashiers?

I would like to know where my wasted money is going.

In fact I don't want to have any wasted money. I am whipping out a calculator  adding Nutri Grain bars and bottles of water to my order to come as close to $5 as possible so that No ONE will benefit from my voucher gap.

I am encouraging people to put their trays together to reduce voucher gaps.  In other words, if we put my $2.80 with  your $7.13 and pay with two vouchers - they only get 7 cents.  But if we each pay separately, they (whoever they is - we still don't know) get $2.10 PLUS $2.87 which is practically worth another whole $5 voucher. No sir. Not on my dime.

I imagine conference organizers frolicking on the beach in St Maarten, laughing uproariously at all of the suckers who used their $5 vouchers with complete disregard for the consequences.

I open unmarked doors looking for a poker game.

I look at the Keynote Speakers suspiciously wondering if they are splitting the take.

Finally Board Member sits next to me.

This is my big chance.

I lean in conspiratorially and ask about the Voucher conspiracy.  Is it the Conference? Is it the Board? Is it Lee Harvey Oswald?

Oh, no. Board Member says, don't worry.  The conference is only paying for the number on the cash register.

So wait a minute - when I was adding water bottles and apples to my tab I was actually increasing the cost for the conference?


And whether or not we put our trays together the cost to the conference would have been exactly the same?




Do you know where I can get a pair of pink sequinned sneakers?